Five more things

Dear Federal Office of Personnel Management, Part Two

 

It’s me again, Bill McCann.

Last week I sent you a list of things I did (with accompanying questions) in response to your email to federal employees asking them to report five accomplishments for the week. I understand you are requesting similar information this week. As a good citizen, a retiree and former federal employee, I want to do my part to make our government run smoothly. Most of my activities center on what I have seen in the news. Here goes:

1) I watched the heated exchange between Ukraine President Zelensky and President Trump and Vice President Vance. Trump wants to cut a deal with Ukraine and Russia, which invaded Ukraine three years ago. Trump also wants U.S. access to some of Ukraine’s minerals. Meanwhile, Zelensky wants Russia out of his country. Trump doesn’t seem to care about that part. The discussion made Trump mad because he is known as a big dealmaker despite his six bankruptcies. I thought it was unfair, two against one. So maybe next time do you think Zelensky can bring along a friend to make the debate less scary for those of us concerned about certain people having access to the nuclear codes? Maybe Jimmy Kimmel or Stephen Colbert could lighten the mood if the debate intensifies and Vance starts frothing at the mouth.

2) Speaking of Vance, I saw he ran into a bunch of protesters when he landed in Vermont for a ski vacation after the Zelensky fiasco. Some protesters held Ukrainian flags and signs urging Vance to “go skiing in Russia.” My question is what federal employee gets to take a vacation after six weeks on the job? Do Elon Musk and his DOGE boys know about Vance’s wasteful perk? I think Musk should be on that like a toad on a bug.

3) I heard an American physician explain why terrible diseases like Ebola have been rare in the U.S. He said it’s partly because a U.S. AID program provides medical assistance to countries prone to these outbreaks, therefore preventing diseases from spreading to us. But right now, presidents Trump and Musk are trying to halt “foreign aid” to save money to fund another tax cut for the rich. What happens if another disease like covid hits the U.S. when our foreign aid dries up and our federal health researchers have been fired? Is Trump going to have enough bleach and horse dewormer ready? Will our new health czar, the Kennedy with the brain worm, be able to fight it with magic potions?

4) I heard news of more federal firings, including weather and climate experts at the National Oceanic and Atmospheric Administration. Will enough federal scientists be left to track the next hurricane? Or will Trump once again grab a Sharpie to predict the hurricane’s path like he did during his first term?

5) I saw that Trump is signing an executive order making English our official language. Does it mean Mexican and Italian and Chinese restaurants will have to change names? Will Spanish rice become English rice? I am somewhat relieved that Trump chose English though. I’ve been afraid that he might choose Russian.

 


Bill McCann, formerly with the BCDP, continues to contribute his pithy thoughts via Facebook. We have his permission to reproduce them here, and we’re very glad of that.

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