Five things I did last week

Dear Federal Office of Personnel Management,
 
I once worked for state and federal governments but am now retired. I understand your office is very interested in what current federal employees are doing on a daily basis and have sent an email to 2.3 million of them asking for the top five things they accomplished last week.
 
I thought you might be interested in what I’ve been doing too since I worked for the feds under Nixon, Ford, Carter and Reagan. I also have some related questions. Here are my five activities:
 
1. This week I read and watched 30 stories about how the current president and his boss Elon Musk are saving the U.S. government money by eliminating its workers. It may be fun for them, but I am wondering who is going to be left to monitor Musk’s billions of dollars in federal contracts, or do we just trust him to do the right thing?
 
2. I have been reading on social media numerous letters from Trump supporters who have lost their government jobs and are regretting their vote. Do you have any suggestions on what they can do with their MAGA hats or shouldn’t I go there?
 
3. I have read several articles that many folks who take excellent care of our national parks have been fired. Should I cancel my summer reservation to Big Bend, or will the National Guard stationed at the Rio Grande be able to keep the park clean and show me around?
 
4. I also read several stories about how many U.S. Forest Service employees, who risk their lives fighting forest fires, have been fired. Trump once had this brilliant idea about raking the forest to prevent future forest fires. I wish Smokey the Bear had come up with that one. But I’m wondering who is going to be left to do the raking. That would have been a great job for immigrants, but I understand the president is going to send them to Guantanamo Bay. Are there forests there?
 
5. I spent part of the week figuring out my taxes. I am not rich, like Mr. Musk, but it looks like I am going to owe the federal government money, unlike some billionaires. The IRS has a crucial job in making sure we have money to operate the government. Since the IRS may not have enough employees to keep up with the tax filings and since Mr. Musk may have our tax records by now, should I just send my 1040 Form and check directly to Mr. Musk? If so, should I send it in care of Tesla or Space X?
 
Plus, I could send him a copy of my week’s activities, if the U.S. Postal Service is still around to deliver it.
 
Yours truly,
Bill McCann

A long-time fixture in the Bastrop County Democratic Party, Bill McCann moved out of Bastrop County to Cedar Park a few years ago. We’ve missed his weekly commentaries, which for years were published in the Bastrop Advertiser and reproduced here. We were delighted to see this recent piece posted on Bill’s Facebook and asked him if we could share it with our readers. It’s great to have his spirit and his spunk back with us. 


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